D3 body, D1 cock
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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