That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
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