he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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