Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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