in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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