return my video game
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Sorry about my life...
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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