she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
