yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
