Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
