Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
where are you?
Hypothermia
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize