My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
