READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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