The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
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And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
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Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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