go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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