when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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