Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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