My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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