I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
