I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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