get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
