Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
