well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
