It's just like the Real World with babies
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
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