I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
