escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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