Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
