then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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