Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize