i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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