come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
