just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
