dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
