I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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