I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I FOUND THE LEGS
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
