she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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