i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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