Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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