Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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