I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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