dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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