If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
