I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
