is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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