I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
