the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize