It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
