Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Randomize
