so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
