she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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