My cat gives me a boner
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize