would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
