Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
