He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
The struggles of a small town man whore
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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