I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize