he wants to bone in the snuggie
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
You had me at "let me see your balls"
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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