Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
