Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
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