THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
