im six kinds of drunk right now
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
We have so much sex to catch up on
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
