woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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