Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
