I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
