Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize