It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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